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Ladies and Gents, Mr. John McClane is back and he still kicks some major ass. After seeing Live Free or Die Hard i was so inspired that i thought i would bring back the whole "review" thing. Don't expect much....i haven't done this in some time.
Anywhoo, from the get go it was non stop action and even harder laughs. If you've seen any other Die Hard movies you know that McClane has a twisted seance of humor that will make you laugh every time and it's no difference this time around. I'm not going to tell you the story. If you want to hear about it go to IMDB.com...I'm not you're monkey
THIS MOVIE HAD A PLOT!!!
I know, it's hard to find movies with plot now-a-days.
THIS MOVIE DIDN'T OVER USE CGI!!!
I hate any movie that uses nothing but cheap CGI tricks. Know if you have a brain bigger then a peanut you can see right threw the cheap parlor tricks. CGI is killing the movie industry but I'm not getting into that...i could go on and on but I'll spare you.
The special effects in this film are great. they only used CGI in two parts ....and they weren't terrible.
The acting was top notch, but what else would you expect from Bruce Willis and Justin Long. But there was one actor who really stuck out. i mean from coming from Sky High to films like Black Christmas, Death Proof, and this film, shes come a long way. And that actor is Mary Elizabeth Winstead...what a mouth full.
I really enjoyed watching this movie, but it was nothing special. It didn't make you think. It didn't change cinematography as we know it. But i was a very well done film. Face it, every one like to watch a movie where you can just sit back, watch and enjoy the show.
If i was a big shot movie reviewer and could throw some star at this film, i would give it 3 out of 4 stars....but I'm just a dumb kid who likes to watch movies..............and has a lot of free time.
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Monday, February 13th, 2006
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I don't have enough time to do many reviews. For this I apologize, I will have something for the school newspaper possibly next year. That should be fun.
I just have been thinking about all the movies out there that i want.
in order of level of wantingness.
1The Hills have Eyes
2Saw 2
3Leaving Las vegas
4Hostel
5Cannibal Holocaust
6Night Of the Living Dead
7suspiria
8anchorman
9the scream box set
10the Nightmare on elmstreet
11.the the friday 13th boxed set
12. Fear and loathing in las vegas
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Thursday, January 19th, 2006
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Mel Brooks is a genius! he's done some many great movies otherwise known as "cult" movies.
Well the story line is this. Theres this planet called Druidia. Now Druidia had a lot of air, but planet Spaceball is running out. So Planet Spaceball kidnaps the Druish princess so they can get the code to open the air shield.
So after the princess is kidnapped the king gets the heros Loanstar and his Mog Barf. (a mog is half man half dog) "Im my own best friend" brilliant!
Then there's Dark Helmet played by Rick Moranis. 
Over all it's a A-
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Friday, January 13th, 2006
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Now i know my counterpart Chris thinks this is a good movie...i just ask how?
This movie sucked more then a gay vampire. Okay so i thought some parts were done well but in my opinion most of it just sucked.
Good-barbed wire + wood = kinda cool
Bad- story not making sense.
Good- phyco lesbo
Bad- Music sucks
Good- the fathers death was creative
Bad- the other killings were boring
Good-masturbates to reggie
Bad- dialog suck. (i didnt see the english dub, but i read the sub-tiles)
Good- yeah ...i got nothing
Bad- predictable, twist was gay, leaves a lot of story unexplained.
i had high hopes for this movie and yet again i've been let down.
i give High Tension a D+
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Well I've been a buying dvd fiend my christmas intake was as follows.
1. Saw(Special Edition from Jen)
2. Employee of the Month (My Dad)
3. Pulp Fiction Collectors edition
4. American Psycho Special uncut edition
5. The Girl Slaves of Morgana LeFay
6. A Clockwork Orange
7. the Evil Dead 2 with the screaming eye
8. Amry of darkness
9. European Cut of Romero's Dawn of the dead
10. The Amityville Remake
11. The Mothman Prophecies
12. freddy Got Fingered
13. The Remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Special Edition)
Awesome make out soo far.
Monday I saw waiting.
It's a small story about a guy who works at Shenanigans with his roomate and friends. The boredoms of the job brings the colorful cast to some wild antics. Structured more like a legitimate comedy and less like a knock off of boobs and fart jokes. This plot stays. it is raunchy and tastefull. And bears in mind a great philosophy. DONOT FUCK WITH THOSE WHO HANDLE YOUR FOOD!
No Boobs- but a scrotum and a vag(scary vag) are shown.
look out for Ryan Reynolds, DANE COOK, Andy Milonakis, Max Kasch and many other well known people.
grade- B+
MPAA: Rated R for strong crude and sexual humor, pervasive language and some drug use.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HOSTEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(imdb)Plot Outline: Three backpackers head to a Slovakian city that promises to meet their hedonistic expectations, with no idea of the hell that awaits them.
I've hear alot of good and bad about this movie. I say, with all my heart. don't believe a single thing you hear. Because people whom aren't horror fans might not understand this.
It's an awesome movie. It's brutal and doesn't give out but leaves room for sound artistic film makeing.
the gore scenes are bone shattering.
the building is errie.
the chases were white knuckle worthy.
the women were sexy
The premise of the movie which shows in the end is- You are on a chase in a foriegn land with sinister people, speaking sinister languages that you don't speak.
Directed by Eli Roth (Cabin Fever) and Produced by the Honorable Quintin Terrantino this film packs a new style gore fest movie, with an old William Castle style add campaign. "You may require medical attention while watching this film"
It does have a plot and is made in an awesome semi quad story manner. I say if you don't like it, or think it was done well. You too fucking stupid to understand the art of making a film.
Quick Fact
The trailers bill the movie as "inspired by true events". Director Eli Roth says that he found a Thai website that advertised itself as a "murder vacation," offering users the chance to torture and kill someone for the price of $10,000. Roth later showed the site to Quentin Tarantino and the two developed the idea for the film. Tarantino and Roth said later on an Icelandic talk show that they have no idea if the website was real or not.
MPAA- R !!Tons of Blood and Boobies!!
Grade- A+
Instant Classic for Any horror Fan.
Coming Soon- Saw II, Underworld II and A history of Violence.
"I go Home"
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Saturday, December 24th, 2005
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| Subject: | Hey |
| Time: | 11:41 pm. |
| Mood: |  content. | | Music: | The Ghoul Disorder Project- Until She Rots. |
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Hey. I promise I will put another review in soon. It's been a busy holdiay mostly work.
I got Saw from Jen and it was the "Uncut" version, and dun dun dun, nothing at all was changed at all!
Not one ioda was different from the original cut, It was a bit a disapointment, not on Jen fault at all. But I forgot how much I liked it. It was brutal and unrelenting. Charlie Clouser (NIN) did the music for it. Which is awesome.
Story- 2 guys wake up in a room, chained. They wake up entering the wicked world of Jigsaw, a serial killing game making who's games kill you in horrible ways. This mastermind takes every aspect of the game to block the ways out. To give the person the value of life.
I especially liked the Casing which was a squeesy fake blood thingy, with a little saw in it. I think that was really fricken awesome.
NO I HAVEN'T SEEN THE 2ND. BUT I WILL, I WAS BUSY LATELY. I'M IN NO RUSH. THE SECOND TOOK 2 MONTHS TO MAKE.
I just got Employee of the Month From My dad. it was the 1 present I got to open today. hehe. This is a great take in gifts so far.
By the way I've been bored lately and mixed some music it's displayed in a new refirbed myspace at. http://www.myspace.com/hailtotheking66
It's the Ghoul Disorder Project.
Alot is amature mixing, realllly choppy. But I was bored and thought you'd enjoy. so go ahead and get gay with it.
plus http://www.drphobias.com We're still fucking open. soo uhhh. Get your ass down there. and give us a chance. i'll try my hardest?
Volunteers welcome also
Alright.
I'm out
I love jen
Merry Fucking XMAS
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Tuesday, December 6th, 2005
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The computers have been down, and due to October's busy season I Apollogize for not wasting more of your Livejournal space...
SO without further adue.. I give you a list of what is to come on Hailtotheking.
Coming Soon....
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Monday, September 19th, 2005
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I'm all about the Blood, the guts, and the very meaning off Halloween. My Autumn started a couple weeks ago when Dr. Phobia's Started running. All year, Finally sometihng to cater to my lust for haunted houses.
Movie Ideas have been fanning in the same Direction, I can't wait till the Marathons of October. But Since Niether Joe or I, (Whom both are horror entrepeneurs that work at Dr. Phobias) Have written Much lately I had to put in an entry. This one not being one of my top tens or whatever, though they are coming. I decided to do some quicky reviews.
Tagline: When the earth spits out the dead, they will rise to suck the blood of the living!
I.Lucio Fulci's ZOMBIE- This film is the one that I've heard about for years, but could never rent. I ended up buying it before I saw it, and for once, I wasn't disapointed at all.
Set in the Tropics, the story of a young woman "Tisa Farrow" and her boyfriend reporter "Ian McCulloch" who go with thier friends to the island her Doctor father was living to discover the mystery behind his death. The Island had an epidemic of a strange disease, you would rot like the dead while living, and break out in sores. And then after death.... well it's a Zombie movie. The story line is captivating and the idea of the 70's makes some parts even unintentionally humorous. The Special effects were original and 100% make-up based. I loved everysecond of the feeding scenes. A Lovely gruesome romp all the way till the end of the movie, which almost seems to end off at where "Dawn" began. But keep in mind these are two completely different tales.
Lucio Fulic is an Italian director who's other work includes, House By the Cemetery, and Lizard in a woman's skin.
"As shown in trailers before the film was released, "Barf Bags", much similar to the ones used in airplane travel, where handed out to movie goers who saw the movie in theaters, due to the high amounts of blood-and-gore that most horror films before 1979 had never seen."
GRADE-A
II. The Man with the Screaming Brain- This was Bruce Campbell's made for tv movie about a man of Science who is killed in Bulgaria and then has his brain tranfixed together with a bulgarian cab driver's. They both (being killed by the same woman) fight to find revenge.
I wasn't the biggest fan of it. But the premise of the movie could've been taken alot further than it was. The Jokes had Bruce's corny aspect but none of it amounted to anything. I expected a tiny bit more horror and less wierd comedy. The cheaply made effects were not only ridiculous but sometimes ruined scenes. I found it a little bit of a waste of time. Though some parts were enjoyable.
I found it funny that it took Bruce Campbell 19 years to make it.
GRADE- C-
Tagline: Demon to some. Angel to others.
III. HellRaiser
Pure and simple. A Fantasy that I actually enjoyed. The Effects and gore = Primo. I loved every lusciously designed and morbid second of it. The sounds, I must say, at first churned my stomach. The little suspensful creaks, and grotesque screams and gurgles. A gore fans orgasm all in one movie. The plot is simple but unique about a Man's wife whome cheated on him with his brother. She is caught up by her ex-lover, after he's been through a hell inside pandora's box with these creatures of Sadistic Torture known as the Cenobites. The whole world of pleasure and pain hidden in a simple puzzle box.
Designed beatifully. The perfect dementation for your mind. The Classic Hellraiser will make you reel in terror, and shake in your seat.
The film's original title was "Sadomasochists From Beyond The Grave".
Quote- Lead Cenobite: No tears, please. It's a waste of good suffering
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Sunday, August 28th, 2005
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George Romero
Is Infamous.....
George Romero
Is still going strong.
From The Grainy and atmospheric "Night of the living dead" and Through the Home hitting "Dawn" and past the strangely real "Day" and Up to Land of the dead. George Romero is where you go. For Any Classic zombie cinema, You'll never steer wrong with Romero.
Land of the Dead is The Fourth Installment of Romero's anthology of a zombie epic. Seemingly leading off after "Day" As The Zombie's Evolve and learn things, We find a corrupt version of a world imprisoned. Safe from zombie's but not from the Heiarchy brought on by the Rich "Leader" Played by Dennis Hopper(Apocalypse Now, Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2) the story's mean characters are the clean up crew for the City (Village Green) in which they live. Along with some others, as they plot to get of the Green and away from the poverty that they can't get out of. In good time too, because soon after, the living dead take on the town, and break the barracks to win, and dine on the rich and well ill informed citizens of Village Greens Upper Class.
The special FX aren't as crappy as some make it seem. The computer graphed images were not obvious at all. Most the zombies were nicely and realistically made up. I like that the idea of gore in the zombies wasn't overplayed. Like your a zombie... that was bit....but your missing half your face, and the entire right side of your body. i mean i'm one for senseless carnage, but I put realism in front of it. The explosions were nice. I really liked the characters of the zombies, it made the movie feel different. They weren't all civilians, they had a butcher, a gas attendant(Star Zombie) The Movie also gave homage to The Priest which was very brilliantly executed and a Children's party clown.
The Acting wasn't bad, I recognized Cholo from Assault On Precinct 13, and Asia Argento from Maxim.And of Course Dennis Hopper. I Have to say, I couldn't place the others. But there is nothing wrong with that. Though this movie doesn't breach, the Original Night of the Living Dead, or Dawn I found it better than Day, a little more entertaining.
So the list goes.
!Best!
4Night of the Dead (1968)
3Dawn Of the Dead (1978)
2Land of the Dead(2005)
1then Day of the Dead (1985)
!Worst!(Keep in mind, the worst is still a great flick)
GRADE- A
Now a Tribute To What I believe or the Sexiest Women In Cinema History. Zombie movie Screamers and fighters. These are my Dream women, and any girl into zombie movies gains respect in my book. But when at the rare times the plot seems mediocre, I know what keeps guys coming. and It is completely fine by me to have something pleasant to the eyes, throughout all the apocalyptic carnage exploding on the screen.
I must hand it to the women whom: Scream out in terror, and those who fight for their lives against the devouring dead. and those whom do the feasting themselves, you look sexy running for you life, and even when covered in latex and fake brains.
Judith O'Dea- Night of the Living Dead (68)(Classy sexy)
Sarah Polley- "Dawn" Remake- Though the Movie was for novelty purpose only.(04){Doctor Sexy)
Asia Argento-Land-(05) {My Dad is great Friends with the director and I'm an angry model sexy}
Sheri Moon/Zombie- Not in a Zombie Movie exactly, but she's got it in her blood, and a Zombie in other places too. haha, cheap sex crack.
Milla Jovovich- Resident Evil (02)- {Genetically Engineered/ kick ass fighting sexy}
And there you have it.
comment if you want.
P.S.- Sitting Back and looking at these women, I notice, My own Significant other, has all the sexy qualities of these sexy women. But Jen puts it all together. She's my scream queen. And I just thought I'd get a little personal into it for a second, and say I love her. And without her, movies wouldn't be as much fun as they are. She feed's my addictions... the healthy ones atleast. Not like My addiction to Porn or fatty salty foods. haha. she belongs in my tribute.
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Saturday, August 27th, 2005
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Last Night I ran into a movie That I couldn't believe I've forgotten. The number one thing That jumped out at me was the intro. This Abstract grainy in the dirt, burnt out old film reel intro imediately caught my attention. This was all I needed to be interested in Suicide Kings.
This crime drama doesn't hold back anything, With an allstar cast including Dennis Leary, Christopher Walken, Sean Patrick Flannery, as well as many others. Its a story of a plan a group of friends devise, to take a kidnapped Mob boss for his money to put to death some debts. Though by the certain screw ups and turns the deal sours. Includes humor also, though its brutal too. The twist is a decent one and it will still keep you watching till the credits. Though the ending is kind of sad, this movie still holds true to its name.
GRADE- B-
Ohhh yeah.
7$- Adults
5$-Children
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hailtotheking66's journal
anxious.
bored.
accomplished.